For observant Jewish couples, ending a marriage involves two parallel proceedings: a civil divorce granted by a New York court and a religious divorce — the Get — arranged through a Beis Din (rabbinical court, also written Beth Din or Bais Din). Understanding how the Beis Din process works, and how it interacts with your civil case, helps you sequence both correctly and avoid the painful situations that arise when one track is completed and the other stalls.
What Is a Beis Din?
A Beis Din is a rabbinical tribunal, traditionally composed of three rabbis, that supervises religious legal matters — including the writing and delivery of a Get. In the New York area, established batei din serve the communities of Brooklyn, Monsey, Kiryas Joel, and beyond. Which Beis Din will handle your matter is often determined by community affiliation, by agreement of the parties, or by a provision in a prenuptial or settlement agreement designating a specific tribunal.
What the Get Process Involves
While customs vary among communities, the core steps are consistent:
- Initiating the process. One spouse (or their rabbi or attorney) contacts the Beis Din, which typically sends the other spouse an invitation to participate — a hazmana. If a spouse ignores repeated summonses, the Beis Din may issue a seruv, a formal declaration of contempt that carries significant communal weight.
- The appearance. Both spouses appear before the Beis Din — in person or, for some tribunals and circumstances, by arrangement. The Beis Din confirms identities, verifies that the husband is giving the Get of his own free will, and that the wife is accepting it.
- Writing the Get. A qualified scribe (sofer) writes the Get by hand, specifically for the couple, in the presence of witnesses.
- Delivery and acceptance. The husband delivers the Get to the wife (directly or through an authorized agent), witnesses attest, and the Beis Din takes possession of the document.
- The certificate. Each party receives a ptur — a certificate confirming the religious divorce is complete and each is free to remarry under Jewish law.
When both parties cooperate, the entire appearance often takes a few hours. The difficulty is rarely the procedure itself — it is getting both parties to the table.
How the Beis Din Process Interacts with Your Civil Divorce
The Get and the civil judgment of divorce are entirely separate. A Get has no effect on your property rights, custody, or support obligations, and a civil judgment does not dissolve the marriage under Jewish law. You need both, and the sequencing matters:
- New York's First Get Law (DRL § 253) requires a plaintiff whose marriage was solemnized by a religious officiant to verify, before the final judgment, that they have removed all barriers to the other spouse's remarriage. Read our detailed guide to New York's Get Laws.
- New York's Second Get Law (the 1992 amendments to DRL § 236(B)) permits the court, where appropriate, to consider the effect of a barrier to remarriage when deciding equitable distribution and maintenance — meaningful financial leverage when a Get is being withheld.
- Settlement agreements can address the Get directly. A well-drafted stipulation of settlement can include obligations to appear before a designated Beis Din and cooperate in the Get process, with the civil case sequenced so that neither spouse is left with a completed civil divorce and a withheld Get.
What If Your Spouse Refuses to Participate?
New York's Court of Appeals held in Avitzur v. Avitzur, 58 N.Y.2d 108 (1983), that the secular terms of a Ketubah — including the promise to appear before a designated Beis Din — can be enforced by a civil court under neutral principles of contract law. The same reasoning supports enforcement of properly drafted religious arbitration provisions in prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. Combined with the leverage of the Get Laws, a spouse who refuses to participate faces real civil and communal consequences. Every case is different, and the right strategy depends on the agreements you signed, where the civil case stands, and which Beis Din is involved.
Practical Guidance
- Tell your attorney at the outset that a Get will be needed — sequencing is easier to build in early than to retrofit.
- Keep records of every hazmana, response, and communication with the Beis Din.
- If you are negotiating a settlement, insist on explicit Get-cooperation provisions with a designated Beis Din.
- If you are engaged to be married, consider a prenuptial agreement with enforceable religious provisions — it is far easier to prevent Get abuse than to remedy it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need both a civil divorce and a Get?
Yes. The civil judgment ends the marriage under New York law and resolves property, custody, and support. The Get ends the marriage under Jewish law. Neither substitutes for the other.
Can a New York court order my spouse to give a Get?
A civil court will not directly order a religious act. But it can enforce contractual promises to appear before a Beis Din (Avitzur), require the removal-of-barriers verification under DRL § 253, and consider a withheld Get in financial awards under DRL § 236(B). Together these create substantial pressure.
Which comes first — the Get or the civil divorce?
It depends on your circumstances and leverage. In many matters it is wise to complete the Get before or alongside the final civil judgment, and to build that timing into the settlement agreement. We coordinate both tracks so neither spouse is left exposed.
Neuhaus & Yacoob LLC represents clients throughout Brooklyn, Monsey and Rockland County, and Kiryas Joel and Orange County in divorces involving a Get, including drafting agreements with Beis Din provisions and litigating where a Get is withheld. Call (718) 975-1123 for a confidential consultation.